From Dispute to Division: Understanding Church Conflicts

Pastor Josh
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Hello and welcome to the Middletown Baptist Church Podcast, where we are proclaiming the truth to the world.

Pastor Josh
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My name is Pastor Josh, and I want to thank you for listening to this podcast.

Pastor Josh
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I hope that this podcast can be a blessing to you and strengthen you in the word of God.

Pastor Josh
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Now, come along.

Pastor Josh
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Let's look into the Bible and see what God has for us here today.

Pastor Josh
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So we're in Acts chapter 15.

Pastor Josh
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Where we left off was there was a dispute.

Pastor Josh
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There was a conflict at the beginning of Acts chapter 15.

Pastor Josh
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And really, when we look at Acts 15, we see conflict resolution, Conflict.

Pastor Josh
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I like to call it the conflict sandwich, right?

Pastor Josh
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We see a conflict at the beginning, and then we see a resolution at the Jerusalem Council, and we think, hey, everything's going to be okay.

Pastor Josh
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They're not going to have another conflict.

Pastor Josh
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They're not going to have another dispute.

Pastor Josh
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And all of a sudden we see two of the leaders, well renowned leaders, have a dispute here at the end of the chapter.

Pastor Josh
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And we're going to talk about that here this evening.

Pastor Josh
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So what happened at the beginning of this chapter?

Pastor Josh
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Well, there were a group of people coming from Jerusalem to a place called Antioch.

Pastor Josh
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And it was a church that was made up of Jews and Gentiles.

Pastor Josh
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Two different cultures merged into one.

Pastor Josh
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And we know that the Jewish people had their Jewish traditions that they followed, which in and of themselves are not wrong, as long as they don't believe that that's what saves them.

Pastor Josh
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The problem was that there was these Jewish people that were going to the Gentiles and saying, you must be this way.

Pastor Josh
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You must follow the ways of Judaism.

Pastor Josh
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You must follow the traditions and the law to, number one, be saved and number two, to keep your salvation.

Pastor Josh
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And that was.

Pastor Josh
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That was a conflict.

Pastor Josh
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That was a stumbling block because the Gentiles didn't understand this.

Pastor Josh
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They said, well, wait, I thought that Paul preached that it was salvation by faith.

Pastor Josh
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They said, well, it's faith plus these things.

Pastor Josh
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And so what happened was, is that they had to have a council back in Jerusalem to figure this out.

Pastor Josh
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And there was this great discussion.

Pastor Josh
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We had guys like Paul and Peter and James.

Pastor Josh
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And essentially what happens is that they basically say, no, it's not an extra burden that we need to put on the Gentiles.

Pastor Josh
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This is not something that they have to follow.

Pastor Josh
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It's salvation by faith alone.

Pastor Josh
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And so they were excited to go back and tell the church at Antioch that you're not saved by works, you're not saved, you're not added to in your works.

Pastor Josh
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All it is is faith.

Pastor Josh
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But they did give them a List of rules to keep unity.

Pastor Josh
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Remember the idea of love and unity, right?

Pastor Josh
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We have liberty, but because of our love, we take boundaries.

Pastor Josh
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We put boundaries up in our life to be cautious.

Pastor Josh
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And so what happened was, is there.

Pastor Josh
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There was these rules, essentially, be cautious of these things so that there's unity in your church.

Pastor Josh
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And those rules were obviously, stay away from idolatry.

Pastor Josh
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Stay away from any meat that was sacrificed to idols and all of that.

Pastor Josh
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And the reason they gave them those rules was so there could be unity in the church, Unity in the church at Antioch.

Pastor Josh
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And so we see that when they bring that letter to the church in Antioch, they were excited.

Pastor Josh
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They were like, yes, we're not bound by the law.

Pastor Josh
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And we're willing to do these things because we love our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

Pastor Josh
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And there was this great moment where we see the end of all of this.

Pastor Josh
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And we see verse 31 of Acts 15, which when they read, they rejoice for the consolation or the comfort.

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They were comforted by this truth.

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They were excited.

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There was unity.

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There was fellowship.

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And we see that in verse 32.

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And Judas and Silas, being prophets also themselves exhorted the brethren with many words and confirmed them.

Pastor Josh
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And after they had tarried their space, they were let go in peace from the brethren unto the apostles notwithstanding, to please Silas to abide there still.

Pastor Josh
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So Silas stayed, and he wanted to disciple these folks.

Pastor Josh
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And then we see in verse 35, Paul also and Barnabas continued in Antioch teaching and preaching the word of the Lord with many others also.

Pastor Josh
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So we left off with everything going well.

Pastor Josh
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Paul, Silas, Barnabas, they're preaching, they're teaching.

Pastor Josh
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We see discipleship happening.

Pastor Josh
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We see growth happening.

Pastor Josh
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And then we see verse 36.

Pastor Josh
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Now, we don't know how much time exactly took place between verse 35 and verse 36.

Pastor Josh
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It just says, and some days after, Paul said unto Barnabas, let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord and see how they do.

Pastor Josh
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And so Paul had this spirit of evangelism, but Paul had a spirit of discipleship.

Pastor Josh
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Well, what Paul wanted to do, obviously, was to go to new places and preach the gospel to new people.

Pastor Josh
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But he also had a heart for going back and checking in with the people that have already received the Word.

Pastor Josh
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And so Paul's heart at this point was, hey, we need to go speak to other people that have already trusted in Jesus Christ, but we need to see how they're doing.

Pastor Josh
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And so he understood the importance of strengthening and encouraging those people who were already Christians.

Pastor Josh
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And so as a church, we also have to have that same desire.

Pastor Josh
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We need to have an evangelistic heart.

Pastor Josh
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One of the pillars of our church should be evangelism, meaning preaching the gospel to the lost.

Pastor Josh
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But another pillar of our church, another deciding factor of our church, should be that we must be discipleship oriented, meaning we need to preach the gospel to folks.

Pastor Josh
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We need to see them come to Christ, but we also need to come alongside of them after they've trusted in Jesus Christ.

Pastor Josh
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And we need to teach them.

Pastor Josh
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That's part of the Great Commission.

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Because go to the Great Commission, one of the words that you see is teaching them.

Pastor Josh
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Teach, teach.

Pastor Josh
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And so teaching means what we say.

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It means what we demonstrate.

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It means how we live.

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And so Paul said, you know what?

Pastor Josh
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Let's go and let's talk to these people.

Pastor Josh
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And so Paul had a heart for the lost, and he had a heart for those who were believers that needed shepherding, that needed guidance, that needed maturity.

Pastor Josh
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And that's how we should be in our church.

Pastor Josh
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We can't overemphasize one or the other.

Pastor Josh
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If we overemphasized evangelism, what would happen is we would be full of a bunch of spiritual babies.

Pastor Josh
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And we see that throughout the New Testament.

Pastor Josh
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Paul, he doesn't like that.

Pastor Josh
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He says, hey, if you guys all stay as spiritual babes, you can't take the next step of leading other people to Christ.

Pastor Josh
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You should be on the meat, but you're still on the milk.

Pastor Josh
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And so if we only emphasize evangelism and that alone, we're missing out on that next step.

Pastor Josh
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But if we only emphasize discipleship, what will we be doing?

Pastor Josh
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We would be keeping a focus on our own people, and that's it.

Pastor Josh
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And so what we have to do is have a healthy mix of both evangelism, discipleship, evangelism, discipleship.

Pastor Josh
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And that's what we see Paul doing here.

Pastor Josh
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So everything's good.

Pastor Josh
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He wanted to see how they're doing.

Pastor Josh
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This shows Paul's his shepherding heart.

Pastor Josh
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He was not content with just planting churches.

Pastor Josh
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He wanted to see them nurtured and matured and growing.

Pastor Josh
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And that's how we should be within our own church.

Pastor Josh
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So he has this heart, and I think this is a good place to be.

Pastor Josh
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I think this is how we should be.

Pastor Josh
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And what we're going to see here in this passage is that people with good intentions can make mistakes.

Pastor Josh
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Paul and Barnabas, I think, by all accounts here are good men.

Pastor Josh
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They're men that love the Lord.

Pastor Josh
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They're men that love the ministry.

Pastor Josh
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But we're Going to see them have a disagreement and we're going to see them have a struggle here.

Pastor Josh
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And so what we need to see is that conflict and disagreements are inevitable.

Pastor Josh
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I wish that we could all walk in the same mind all the time.

Pastor Josh
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And the truth is that we can walk with the same goals but sometimes we're going to have a different opinion on how we should get there.

Pastor Josh
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Now how do we deal with that?

Pastor Josh
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Well, a lot of times what happens within bodies of believers is that we have a disagreement.

Pastor Josh
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Well, either becomes a fight or it becomes a way to flee.

Pastor Josh
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Right?

Pastor Josh
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You've ever heard of fight or flight?

Pastor Josh
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Fight or flight is we either respond with fighting a person or we respond with running away.

Pastor Josh
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And that's how we react in many cases within conflict within the church.

Pastor Josh
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I have been guilty of both.

Pastor Josh
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I have been guilty on the side of lashing out in anger because of a disagreement and I've also been guilty of, hey, you know what, I'm just going to back off, I'm going to run away, I'm not going to deal with this issue.

Pastor Josh
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And neither one of those are really what we should be doing within a conflict.

Pastor Josh
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Both of those really have a self focus.

Pastor Josh
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How can I get out of this?

Pastor Josh
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How can I win?

Pastor Josh
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We're going to see here this evening that that's not the right route to go when we have a disagreement, when we have a dispute.

Pastor Josh
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And so let's look what happens in verse 37.

Pastor Josh
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This is where the root of it actually begins.

Pastor Josh
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Well I wouldn't say the root, the root is actually started before this, but this is what causes it to explode.

Pastor Josh
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And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark.

Pastor Josh
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So Barnabas goes to Paul and says, hey, we need to take John Mark, he's going to be a good help to us.

Pastor Josh
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And that was Barnabas opinion.

Pastor Josh
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Now the Bible here in this passage, this is interesting, at least the way that I read this.

Pastor Josh
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We really don't see who's right or wrong.

Pastor Josh
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I think that there's actually people on both sides that have good opinions.

Pastor Josh
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But I think that people on the both sides were not willing to compromise and come together.

Pastor Josh
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So I think there's right on both sides and I think there's wrong on both sides.

Pastor Josh
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But what we see here is that Barnabas says let's take John Mark, he's a good guy, but let's see what Paul has to think about John Mark.

Pastor Josh
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But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia and went not with them to the work.

Pastor Josh
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Now if you remember back a little while ago when we were in this study, we saw in Acts, chapter 13, verse 13, it says now, when Paul and his company loosed from Paphos, they came to Perga and Pamphylia.

Pastor Josh
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And John, that's the same John, Mark and John departed from them and returned to Jerusalem.

Pastor Josh
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Now, we can understand through context that it was basically John, Mark fled.

Pastor Josh
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He said, I'm going back.

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I can't handle this.

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This is too difficult.

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And basically he left Paul and Barnabas, you know, up the creek without the paddle.

Pastor Josh
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He said, I'm going to bail on you guys.

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I can't do this.

Pastor Josh
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And so Paul's response is, no, we don't want a guy like that around.

Pastor Josh
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Now, we could understand Paul's sentiment here, right?

Pastor Josh
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We don't want to take a guy with us that we can't trust.

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Now, Paul is a guy who is strong in his faith, but Paul is strong in his opinion.

Pastor Josh
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And we see Barnabas.

Pastor Josh
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Now, what is Barnabas most characterized by?

Pastor Josh
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Does anyone remember what's his name even mean?

Pastor Josh
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He's an encourager, like the son of consolation, the son of encouragement.

Pastor Josh
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So Barnabas is going to always err on the side of, I'm going to be an encourager.

Pastor Josh
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I'm going to pour out grace and mercy upon people.

Pastor Josh
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Paul, though he had mercy and grace, was the guy out front.

Pastor Josh
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He was a prophet.

Pastor Josh
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He was the one who was going to be leading.

Pastor Josh
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And so Paul's seeing it from a very administrative standpoint, right?

Pastor Josh
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And I can understand this.

Pastor Josh
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I can understand Paul's sentiment here.

Pastor Josh
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Paul's like, I don't want a guy coming with me that bailed on me.

Pastor Josh
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That's not going to work on the mission field.

Pastor Josh
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Well, he's coming from that administrative mindset that, that, that business mindset, if you will.

Pastor Josh
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Now, I'm not going to say that Paul is thinking business here, but what I am saying is that there is a spiritual gift of administration that Paul is seeing here, and we're seeing it acted out right here.

Pastor Josh
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And then we see what happens with Barnabas is Barnabas is one with mercy.

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He's the one that's like, hey, well, you know what?

Pastor Josh
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Let's give him a second chance.

Pastor Josh
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Let's take him with us.

Pastor Josh
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Now we're gonna see that Barnabas has a reason for this.

Pastor Josh
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Barnabas is related to John, Mark.

Pastor Josh
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And so there's a familial connection as well.

Pastor Josh
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But both of them naturally, in and of themselves, have their opinion.

Pastor Josh
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Now, I wanna stop here.

Pastor Josh
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Tonight's gonna sound more like a Lecture than preaching.

Pastor Josh
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There will be some elements of preaching.

Pastor Josh
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They're kind of merged together here.

Pastor Josh
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But what I will say is that sometimes within a conflict within the church, there are good opinions on both sides.

Pastor Josh
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You can see points on both sides.

Pastor Josh
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And actually what happens is that sometimes people are seeing it from this perspective and another person seeing it from this perspective.

Pastor Josh
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And what could have happened is they could have come together and talked this out and maybe come up with a compromise in the sake of unity.

Pastor Josh
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But we're going to see that they don't do that.

Pastor Josh
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We're going to see that they don't want to talk this out, or at least in this case they don't talk it out and they go their separate ways.

Pastor Josh
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Now some people preach this passage and say, well, this is what you're supposed to do in all sense of conflict.

Pastor Josh
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If you can't figure it out, just turn your back and go, well, I don't think Paul or Barnabas are sinless.

Pastor Josh
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And so I think there are some elements of their flesh being played out in this passage.

Pastor Josh
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And we see that through verse 39.

Pastor Josh
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And the contention was so sharp between them.

Pastor Josh
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Now that is not how you would describe two individuals following in the Spirit.

Pastor Josh
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Right?

Pastor Josh
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If they were both following the Spirit and trying to fix this, it wouldn't be described as having sharp contention between them.

Pastor Josh
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And so for me, that's a clue to show us that neither one of them are completely walking in the Spirit in this.

Pastor Josh
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There is a way that we can have a conflict in the Spirit and there's a way that we can have a conflict in the flesh.

Pastor Josh
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How do we know that Jesus had conflict with people?

Pastor Josh
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Right?

Pastor Josh
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Well, we know that there were people that opposed Jesus's teaching and Jesus handled it in a perfect way every single time.

Pastor Josh
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Did that mean that Jesus backed down to every single opposition?

Pastor Josh
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No, Jesus was firm.

Pastor Josh
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Jesus was strong with the Pharisees.

Pastor Josh
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But there was a way that Jesus handled conflict in a Spirit filled way.

Pastor Josh
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And that's our description of how we should follow everything in Christ like ways.

Pastor Josh
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And so there's also fleshly ways that we can respond to conflict.

Pastor Josh
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And when we respond to conflict in a fleshly way, it always goes back to ourselves.

Pastor Josh
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It always goes back to us winning.

Pastor Josh
00:13:02

Right?

Pastor Josh
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There's no winning in that.

Pastor Josh
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There's no winning in a conflict within the church.

Pastor Josh
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Because what happens is that both sides hurt and ultimately the body of believers hurt.

Pastor Josh
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You remember back in that passage in first Corinthians that talks about the church being the body and there's different parts of the body, right?

Pastor Josh
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When one part of the body's hurting, whether we know it or not, the whole body hurts.

Pastor Josh
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And so what we see in this passage of Scripture is that Paul and Barnabas are having a conflict.

Pastor Josh
00:13:28

And they're sharp contention.

Pastor Josh
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Barnabas was determined.

Pastor Josh
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But we see here that Paul insisted.

Pastor Josh
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Paul insisted that John Mark couldn't come.

Pastor Josh
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What Barnabas said was, well, I'm determined.

Pastor Josh
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So we have a guy who's determined and we have a guy who's insisting.

Pastor Josh
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And so Paul thought it wasn't good to go.

Pastor Josh
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Barnabas was determined.

Pastor Josh
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And so Luke, the writer of Acts, didn't give us a clue as to who was right or wrong in this dispute.

Pastor Josh
00:13:57

But it's never good when personal disputes flare up amongst the ministry.

Pastor Josh
00:14:03

The conflict that happened at the beginning of Acts, chapter 15.

Pastor Josh
00:14:06

What?

Pastor Josh
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Okay, this is where you guys can speak back to me.

Pastor Josh
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And I know this is what everyone gets nervous, even the person asking the question, because you might not understand where I'm going with this.

Pastor Josh
00:14:16

But where was the conflict at the beginning of Chapter 15?

Pastor Josh
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There at the church in Antioch.

Pastor Josh
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What was it over?

Pastor Josh
00:14:21

What was that conflict over?

Pastor Josh
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And they brought to Jerusalem Council.

Pastor Josh
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What was that over?

Pastor Josh
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Grace and law.

Pastor Josh
00:14:27

So, so we would say.

Pastor Josh
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We would say scriptural things, right?

Pastor Josh
00:14:31

It was about belief.

Pastor Josh
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It was about the essentials.

Pastor Josh
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Okay?

Pastor Josh
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It's okay within the Church to have conflict and disputes amongst the essentials.

Pastor Josh
00:14:40

And we need to figure that out.

Pastor Josh
00:14:41

Those are things that we should be dealing with.

Pastor Josh
00:14:43

The essentials, the doctrines, the teachings.

Pastor Josh
00:14:46

Is this about grace or is it about the law?

Pastor Josh
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What does the word of God have to say?

Pastor Josh
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How do people get saved?

Pastor Josh
00:14:51

We should wrestle with these things within the Church in a good way, right?

Pastor Josh
00:14:56

It's okay to talk about these things, but what really here, what are Paul and Barnabas fighting over?

Pastor Josh
00:15:03

Personal disputes.

Pastor Josh
00:15:05

A slight against Paul.

Pastor Josh
00:15:06

He was forgotten about by John, Mark.

Pastor Josh
00:15:09

And this is where we really see a lot of the conflicts happening within the Church.

Pastor Josh
00:15:13

Personal slights, personal disputes, not about theology or doctrine.

Pastor Josh
00:15:18

Now, we shouldn't fight about theology or doctrine to a place where we're separated.

Pastor Josh
00:15:22

But what we do need to understand that in many cases, I would say that most cases within the Church, usually the conflicts come when it's personal slights or personal disputes.

Pastor Josh
00:15:32

And that's what we see here as a personal dispute.

Pastor Josh
00:15:36

And so we see that the contention is sharp.

Pastor Josh
00:15:39

Wherever there is sharp contention, somebody is.

Pastor Josh
00:15:43

Somebody is acting in the flesh, somebody is wrong.

Pastor Josh
00:15:47

And usually there is elements of the flesh on both sides.

Pastor Josh
00:15:51

And so there was no way that both Paul and Barnabas would be walking in the spirit with this contention, so it says.

Pastor Josh
00:15:59

And the contention was so sharp between them that they departed asunder one from the other.

Pastor Josh
00:16:06

Now, this is Paul and Barnabas.

Pastor Josh
00:16:08

These guys were partners in the ministry.

Pastor Josh
00:16:11

And something over this, something over bringing another guy onto the ministry staff caused them to separate themselves, turn their backs on each other, essentially.

Pastor Josh
00:16:21

And so what happens here is that there is this dissension.

Pastor Josh
00:16:26

One goes one way, we see that happening.

Pastor Josh
00:16:29

Barnabas took Mark, Barnabas takes John Mark, and he sailed onto Cyprus.

Pastor Josh
00:16:34

Paul chose Silas and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God.

Pastor Josh
00:16:40

And so earlier in this chapter, we saw that there was a dispute over a doctrinal matter.

Pastor Josh
00:16:45

Here we see contention in what I would consider a less important, more personal issue.

Pastor Josh
00:16:51

And so the relationship between Paul and Barnabas was probably strained for many different reasons.

Pastor Josh
00:16:58

One, maybe Paul was thinking, well, of course Barnabas wants John Mark to come.

Pastor Josh
00:17:03

That's his family.

Pastor Josh
00:17:04

We know that.

Pastor Josh
00:17:05

Other passages of Scripture tell us that that was his nephew.

Pastor Josh
00:17:09

We also do know that In Galatians, chapter 2, verse 13, if you remember, back in the story of the church at Galatia, there was this issue of the Judaizers that were appealing back to the flesh, appealing back to man tradition.

Pastor Josh
00:17:23

Well, we see that In Galatians, chapter 2, verse 13, it say this, and other Jews dissembled likewise with him, insomuch that Barnabas was also carried away with their dissimulation.

Pastor Josh
00:17:35

So we actually even see a situation where Barnabas had fallen over to the side of the Judaizers at one point.

Pastor Josh
00:17:42

And so the relationship between Paul and Barnabas was strained where Barnabas even later on sided with the Judaizers in Antioch when Peter came to visit in Galatians, chapter two.

Pastor Josh
00:17:53

And so since Barnabas was John Mark's cousin, and if you want to check me on that, the passage of Scripture is Colossians, chapter 4, verse 10.

Pastor Josh
00:18:01

We can see that John Mark is Barnabas cousin, actually not nephew cousin.

Pastor Josh
00:18:07

And because Barnabas had such an encouraging spirit, he.

Pastor Josh
00:18:11

And he had that accepting character.

Pastor Josh
00:18:13

It was easy to see why he would want John Mark to go.

Pastor Josh
00:18:16

And so they parted.

Pastor Josh
00:18:17

So Paul is accompanied by Silas, Barnabas is accompanied by John Mark.

Pastor Josh
00:18:21

They split.

Pastor Josh
00:18:21

They go their different ways.

Pastor Josh
00:18:23

And so it's hard to know if their personal relationship was strained for forever.

Pastor Josh
00:18:27

We know that ultimately it gets fixed.

Pastor Josh
00:18:30

But we know that there is scripture to deal with personal conflict.

Pastor Josh
00:18:35

One scripture I'd like to take you to is Matthew, chapter five.

Pastor Josh
00:18:38

Matthew, chapter five.

Pastor Josh
00:18:39

This is what Jesus taught on personal conflict.

Pastor Josh
00:18:42

Now we're going to come back here in a few minutes and we're going to talk about Paul and Silas, and we're going to talk about John, Mark and Barnabas.

Pastor Josh
00:18:48

And we're going to see ultimately that I do believe that there is resolution to this later on down in the story, down throughout the history of the early church.

Pastor Josh
00:18:57

But I want us to see what Scripture has to say about conflict resolution, and we'll see what Scripture has to say about conflict resolution, and then we'll see if we think that Paul and Barnabas followed that.

Pastor Josh
00:19:08

I think that most of us will agree that they don't essentially follow all the things that Scripture says to follow at this point.

Pastor Josh
00:19:13

Now, this isn't to beat Paul up.

Pastor Josh
00:19:15

This isn't to be Barnabas up.

Pastor Josh
00:19:17

I have been Paul in this, okay?

Pastor Josh
00:19:20

Just to be honest, there's been times in my life where I knew, you know what?

Pastor Josh
00:19:24

I just don't want to deal with this.

Pastor Josh
00:19:25

It's better that we just split up.

Pastor Josh
00:19:27

It's better that we turn a separate way because that's the easier route.

Pastor Josh
00:19:32

But what we can see here in this case is that Jesus doesn't teach that in Matthew, chapter 5.

Pastor Josh
00:19:36

If you go to verse 23, this is a very convicting passage of Scripture and actually leads up to this idea of being angry with a brother and saying all these things.

Pastor Josh
00:19:50

But he says, therefore, verse 23, therefore, if thou bring thy gift to the altar and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee.

Pastor Josh
00:20:00

So basically, if you remember that your brother has something against you, what do you do?

Pastor Josh
00:20:07

Leave there thy gift before the altar and go thy way and first be reconciled to thy brother and then come and offer thy gift.

Pastor Josh
00:20:17

Meaning this.

Pastor Josh
00:20:19

God isn't interested with any of your ministry, any of your gifts, any of your worship, unless you're right with all those that are around you with your brothers and sisters in Christ.

Pastor Josh
00:20:29

You know, sometimes we think that we can offset our anger against our brother by just loving God more.

Pastor Josh
00:20:35

But what we can see in that passage is, hey, leave your gift, go get it right with your brother, then come back and give that gift.

Pastor Josh
00:20:41

And that's one of the things that I'm really convicted by.

Pastor Josh
00:20:43

Especially when we inspect our lives in a communion service or something like that, we need to really think like, am I is the best of my ability living in harmony with those around me.

Pastor Josh
00:20:53

Now, if I go to try to make it right with my brother, and my brother doesn't want to make it right with me, hey, I've done my part right?

Pastor Josh
00:20:59

And Matthew chapter 18 tells us what we are to do next.

Pastor Josh
00:21:02

If I go to my brother and try to make it right, and he doesn't want to make it right, well, it depends on who's been the one who sinned against each other, right?

Pastor Josh
00:21:09

If I've sinned against you and I've tried to come to you and try to make that right, and they don't care, then, hey, it's over.

Pastor Josh
00:21:14

I've done everything that I can do.

Pastor Josh
00:21:16

But if that person has sinned against me and I go to them to try to have that restoration and they reject that, well, we have to bring two or three, as the Scriptures say in Matthew chapter 18.

Pastor Josh
00:21:26

And then ultimately we have to take the next step.

Pastor Josh
00:21:28

If they reject that, we have to take the next step of bringing it for the whole church family.

Pastor Josh
00:21:32

This isn't my teaching.

Pastor Josh
00:21:33

This is Jesus teaching in Matthew chapter 18.

Pastor Josh
00:21:35

And so there is Jesus always has a path for us when it comes to conflict resolution.

Pastor Josh
00:21:41

So we see in that passage that God is more concerned with our heart than our actions, and our heart must be to be restored back to a brother.

Pastor Josh
00:21:49

Another passage of scripture that I think we could go to when it comes to conflict resolution is Galatians chapter 6.

Pastor Josh
00:21:54

Galatians chapter 6.

Pastor Josh
00:21:56

This shows us the spirit of the conflict resolution, the spirit of when someone wrongs us, the spirit of when we have a disagreement.

Pastor Josh
00:22:06

Now, first of all, I will say this.

Pastor Josh
00:22:07

The Bible says live peaceably with all men if possible.

Pastor Josh
00:22:10

So it's obviously in many cases an impossibility to be at peace with everybody at all times.

Pastor Josh
00:22:17

Right?

Pastor Josh
00:22:17

There are going to be people that are just upset with us because we're Christians.

Pastor Josh
00:22:20

There's going to be people that are upset with us because we looked a certain way, or there's going to be people that are upset all the time.

Pastor Josh
00:22:25

We have to do everything that we can to live peaceably with them.

Pastor Josh
00:22:28

And but the problem is, is that in most cases in a dispute, or in most cases when there's a disagreement, what happens is, is that we are focused on, like I said before, winning or pulling that person down or making that person look bad.

Pastor Josh
00:22:42

Well, Galatians chapter six tells us the Spirit that we should have.

Pastor Josh
00:22:45

When we're dealing with an individual that has this.

Pastor Josh
00:22:48

Has a dispute with us, it says brethren.

Pastor Josh
00:22:51

And this is specifically dealing with sin.

Pastor Josh
00:22:52

Right, says brethren.

Pastor Josh
00:22:54

If a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual.

Pastor Josh
00:22:59

So this is assuming that you are the one that's walking to the best of your ability with Christ.

Pastor Josh
00:23:03

Ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in Spirit of meekness.

Pastor Josh
00:23:08

So the Bible tells us, in the midst of a conflict, in the midst of a dispute, in the midst of someone sinning against us, we need to be the better person, the more spiritual person, we need to be, the more Christ like person and say, I'm going to treat them with meekness.

Pastor Josh
00:23:24

Now what happens usually when someone wrongs us, we don't respond in meekness.

Pastor Josh
00:23:29

We respond in.

Pastor Josh
00:23:30

Here's the big long list of things opposite of meekness.

Pastor Josh
00:23:33

We get angry, we get divisive, we start calling them names, we start trying to tear them down.

Pastor Josh
00:23:39

The Bible says that's the opposite of meekness.

Pastor Josh
00:23:42

We are to have a spirit of meekness for those that have fallen.

Pastor Josh
00:23:45

He says, why considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted?

Pastor Josh
00:23:50

What happens here is that if a person has wronged us in sin and we don't meet them with meekness, what does it say here?

Pastor Josh
00:23:58

That we would be tempted to follow suit.

Pastor Josh
00:24:01

We would be tempted to join in.

Pastor Josh
00:24:03

In that bitterness.

Pastor Josh
00:24:04

We would be tempted to join in.

Pastor Josh
00:24:05

And when that root of bitterness starts, I want you to see another passage of scripture.

Pastor Josh
00:24:09

Keep your finger there.

Pastor Josh
00:24:09

In Galatians chapter six, we're going to go back, but I want you to see the danger of that root of bitterness starting in our hearts.

Pastor Josh
00:24:15

Turn with me to Hebrews chapter 12.

Pastor Josh
00:24:17

Hebrews chapter 12 talks about that root of bitterness starting.

Pastor Josh
00:24:21

Because usually what happens is this.

Pastor Josh
00:24:22

When someone wrongs us or maybe someone just is against us, we then begin to have that root of bitterness against them.

Pastor Josh
00:24:30

Now what happens when that root of bitterness takes place?

Pastor Josh
00:24:33

Well, it's like a seed being planted.

Pastor Josh
00:24:36

And at first it doesn't look like a big deal, but ultimately that bitterness can totally, totally engulf our lives.

Pastor Josh
00:24:43

Hebrews chapter 12, verse 15.

Pastor Josh
00:24:45

It says looking diligently, basically keeping your eyes open.

Pastor Josh
00:24:49

In Hebrews chapter 12, verse 15, looking diligently lest any man fall, or, excuse me, fail of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.

Pastor Josh
00:25:03

Meaning this, when a root of bitterness starts in our heart, we begin to leave the grace of God and we begin to live a life that is defiled because of that bitterness.

Pastor Josh
00:25:13

Defiled means poisoned, messed up, corrupted.

Pastor Josh
00:25:18

And so what ultimately can happen is when that root of bitterness starts in our hearts, it can start as a root, as it says there, but ultimately it can grow and defile us.

Pastor Josh
00:25:26

Now, that doesn't mean that we lose our salvation, but what that means is that we're characterized by that bitterness in our heart.

Pastor Josh
00:25:33

And so if we Go back to what Galatians chapter 6 says.

Pastor Josh
00:25:36

Think about that root of bitterness.

Pastor Josh
00:25:37

Now we'll go back to what Galatians chapter six says.

Pastor Josh
00:25:39

It says, do it with meekness.

Pastor Josh
00:25:43

Now, we talked this morning in our Sunday school class about what meekness is.

Pastor Josh
00:25:47

But meekness is strength under control.

Pastor Josh
00:25:49

Meekness is that understanding of knowing something, but yet having the ability to say, I don't need to exercise this, like someone has wronged me.

Pastor Josh
00:25:58

I could chew them out, I could yell at them.

Pastor Josh
00:26:01

I have every right to, within our human nature to do that.

Pastor Josh
00:26:04

But I'm not gonna do that.

Pastor Josh
00:26:06

That's what Jesus did.

Pastor Josh
00:26:07

Don't you know that Jesus could have just basically gotten onto everyone that he walked by every single day, every single hour, like he could be walking down the street.

Pastor Josh
00:26:16

Remember, Jesus knew everyone's mind.

Pastor Josh
00:26:17

He could look at that person and go, that person's a hypocrite.

Pastor Josh
00:26:19

I'm just gonna chew them out right now.

Pastor Josh
00:26:21

That person over here is doing this.

Pastor Josh
00:26:23

Jesus did have times where he spoke the truth in love.

Pastor Josh
00:26:27

But there were times where Jesus held his mouth right.

Pastor Josh
00:26:30

Jesus didn't address every single person that he came across.

Pastor Josh
00:26:32

There were times that he picked, and there was times that were appropriate that he was able to exercise his strength.

Pastor Josh
00:26:39

And it was strength under control.

Pastor Josh
00:26:41

So that's how we deal with people that have wronged us.

Pastor Josh
00:26:43

That's how we deal with people that have a disagreement with us.

Pastor Josh
00:26:46

We do it with meekness.

Pastor Josh
00:26:47

Why?

Pastor Josh
00:26:48

We watch ourselves, lest we be tempted, lest we have that root of bitterness.

Pastor Josh
00:26:53

Because let's say that person is angry with me and I don't respond with meekness.

Pastor Josh
00:26:59

Guess what's going to happen?

Pastor Josh
00:26:59

I'm going to be angry with them.

Pastor Josh
00:27:01

And that cycle is going to just continue to grow, and that separation is going to continue to be there.

Pastor Josh
00:27:06

And then it says, really?

Pastor Josh
00:27:07

Verse 2, bear ye one another's burden.

Pastor Josh
00:27:09

So it's done in meekness and it's done with selflessness.

Pastor Josh
00:27:13

Not selfishness, but selflessness, meaning I'm putting the other person before myself.

Pastor Josh
00:27:17

Can I bear your burden?

Pastor Josh
00:27:20

It's seeing somebody that's fallen or struggling and saying, how can I help you?

Pastor Josh
00:27:25

Now that's counter.

Pastor Josh
00:27:27

Counterintuitive, right?

Pastor Josh
00:27:28

If you're against me, then I'm done with you.

Pastor Josh
00:27:31

You're cut off.

Pastor Josh
00:27:33

But what does he say here?

Pastor Josh
00:27:34

Bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Pastor Josh
00:27:37

For if any man think himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.

Pastor Josh
00:27:46

So a lot of times, in the midst of a conflict we go back to that self focus.

Pastor Josh
00:27:52

And what does he say there in verse three?

Pastor Josh
00:27:54

For if any man think himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.

Pastor Josh
00:28:02

So we can deceive ourselves by saying that we are the focus in all of this.

Pastor Josh
00:28:07

I take it personally, right?

Pastor Josh
00:28:09

What the Lord is telling us here is don't take it personally.

Pastor Josh
00:28:12

Use it as an opportunity for ministry.

Pastor Josh
00:28:14

Use it for an opportunity to help them.

Pastor Josh
00:28:17

But let every man prove his own work or test his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone and not another.

Pastor Josh
00:28:25

For every man shall bear his own burden.

Pastor Josh
00:28:29

And we could go on in that passage, but we won't.

Pastor Josh
00:28:32

But he goes down to say, I will go down to verse number 10.

Pastor Josh
00:28:35

It says, as we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

Pastor Josh
00:28:40

Meaning we should look to do good to others, even if others are difficult to deal with.

Pastor Josh
00:28:45

And so what I would tell you is, is this Paul, I think personally Paul and Barnabas could have sat down and said, hey, look, let's talk about John Mark.

Pastor Josh
00:28:55

And maybe Paul could have explained to Barnabas, hey, here are my concerns.

Pastor Josh
00:29:01

And John Mark could have been there.

Pastor Josh
00:29:02

And maybe there could have been this opportunity for repentance right then and there.

Pastor Josh
00:29:06

But we don't see that happening.

Pastor Josh
00:29:07

Now I will go forward and say this.

Pastor Josh
00:29:10

If you, if you go to, um, back.

Pastor Josh
00:29:13

Let's go back to Acts chapter 15.

Pastor Josh
00:29:14

Let's go back to Acts chapter 15.

Pastor Josh
00:29:17

We're going to kind of jump ahead in our timeline here.

Pastor Josh
00:29:22

If we jump ahead in our timeline, we're actually going to see that Paul does have some good things to say about John Mark when that happened.

Pastor Josh
00:29:32

We're not entirely sure when his mind changed, I should say.

Pastor Josh
00:29:37

But we do know when he says it.

Pastor Josh
00:29:39

And we can actually find that passage of scripture in a couple of different places.

Pastor Josh
00:29:45

And I know I got you turned in a lot of different places, but we could look at.

Pastor Josh
00:29:50

Well, we could look at Colossians, chapter 4, verse 10.

Pastor Josh
00:29:54

He mentions John Mark there and he talks about receiving him.

Pastor Josh
00:29:59

But then really the main one that I would have you look at is 2 Timothy, chapter 4, verse 11.

Pastor Josh
00:30:04

Obviously, you know, Paul wrote 2nd Timothy and he's writing it to Timothy, the young pastor.

Pastor Josh
00:30:11

And in verse number 11, he says, only Luke is with me.

Pastor Josh
00:30:14

And then he says, take Mark, this is the same John Mark, and bring him with thee, for he is profitable to me for the ministry.

Pastor Josh
00:30:23

So the beginning of the story was Paul says, I can't Use John Mark.

Pastor Josh
00:30:29

He's a burden to me.

Pastor Josh
00:30:30

He's going to destroy our ministry.

Pastor Josh
00:30:32

And whatever happened between that time and second Timothy, chapter four.

Pastor Josh
00:30:37

What does Paul say?

Pastor Josh
00:30:38

He says, take John Mark with you.

Pastor Josh
00:30:41

He is profitable to me for ministry.

Pastor Josh
00:30:43

He's beneficial for me for ministry.

Pastor Josh
00:30:44

So in my opinion, I think that there was probably at some point in time Paul came to this understanding that there were valuable contributions to the work of God through the life of John Mark.

Pastor Josh
00:30:56

We don't know if it was Mark who changed or Paul who changed his perspective.

Pastor Josh
00:31:03

Probably God had to do a work in all of their life, let's say it that way.

Pastor Josh
00:31:06

Paul probably had to work in the life of Paul Barnabas and John Mark.

Pastor Josh
00:31:10

And through their maturity and through their time of understanding the word of God, Paul comes back and says, john Mark's a good guy.

Pastor Josh
00:31:16

He's profitable for the ministry.

Pastor Josh
00:31:18

You know, maybe I was a little bit harsh with him at the beginning.

Pastor Josh
00:31:21

And that's.

Pastor Josh
00:31:22

That's spiritual maturity.

Pastor Josh
00:31:23

It's understanding to exercise meekness.

Pastor Josh
00:31:25

There we see the meekness of God played out in the life of Paul.

Pastor Josh
00:31:29

So Paul and Silas leave, though that's the end of the chapter.

Pastor Josh
00:31:33

They leave and they depart.

Pastor Josh
00:31:34

And Paul and Silas go and serve.

Pastor Josh
00:31:36

And we know that God uses Paul and Silas for great things.

Pastor Josh
00:31:40

We know that God uses Barnabas and John Mark.

Pastor Josh
00:31:43

So this is.

Pastor Josh
00:31:43

This is a lesson for us to know that even in the midst of our failures, God can still use us.

Pastor Josh
00:31:48

It's not like you've ruined it.

Pastor Josh
00:31:49

If you've had a conflict with somebody and you've messed up in that conflict, well, now God can't use you.

Pastor Josh
00:31:53

No, God uses us in spite of our failures.

Pastor Josh
00:31:58

And one of the things that I struggle with in my own life, I can be really honest with you tonight.

Pastor Josh
00:32:02

I will always be honest with you.

Pastor Josh
00:32:04

And I hope you understand that this sometimes takes a lot of risk for me.

Pastor Josh
00:32:09

But let me tell you, there are times in my life where I struggle with my own failures.

Pastor Josh
00:32:13

I sit there and I say, you know what?

Pastor Josh
00:32:15

I can't believe I said that at that point.

Pastor Josh
00:32:16

I can't believe I dealt with this person at this point.

Pastor Josh
00:32:18

And it almost gets to the point where I'm like, can God even use me because of all these problems that I've had?

Pastor Josh
00:32:24

But then you gotta go back and say, you know what?

Pastor Josh
00:32:26

God is using me in spite of my failures.

Pastor Josh
00:32:29

If God was selecting perfect people, he would not select any of us, right?

Pastor Josh
00:32:33

Because the truth is that all of us have issues.

Pastor Josh
00:32:36

All of us have problems.

Pastor Josh
00:32:37

And so it's what it is, it's this.

Pastor Josh
00:32:39

We don't wallow in our mistakes.

Pastor Josh
00:32:42

You know what I mean by wallow?

Pastor Josh
00:32:43

We don't just stay in there and woe is me.

Pastor Josh
00:32:45

What do we do?

Pastor Josh
00:32:46

We learn from our mistakes, right?

Pastor Josh
00:32:49

We learn from our sin and we learn how we can grow and change from that and allow God to work on our lives.

Pastor Josh
00:32:55

So it's like, you know, the classic story of, you know, when a little kid, you know, we try to tell our, you know, nowadays they have the little stops there for the electrical plugs.

Pastor Josh
00:33:06

Like kids are not supposed to put their fingers in there, right?

Pastor Josh
00:33:09

It only takes a child hopefully one time, if they ever did that, to know, hey, you know what I need to learn from that.

Pastor Josh
00:33:14

I don't need to go back and say, you know what?

Pastor Josh
00:33:15

I kind of, maybe it won't hurt me this time, maybe I'll do it again, right?

Pastor Josh
00:33:19

It's kind of like touching the hot pan.

Pastor Josh
00:33:20

How many of you at restaurants when they say, this is confession time?

Pastor Josh
00:33:24

When they say, hey, this is a really hot plate?

Pastor Josh
00:33:26

You know what I do every single time I go, I wonder how hot it really is.

Pastor Josh
00:33:29

And I touch.

Pastor Josh
00:33:30

And every time I'm like, woo, wow, that's hot.

Pastor Josh
00:33:32

Every time I'm like, I don't learn my lesson.

Pastor Josh
00:33:34

And the truth is that sometimes that's how we are as Christians, right?

Pastor Josh
00:33:37

God gives us discipline in the midst of our mistake.

Pastor Josh
00:33:42

And instead of growing from that and learning from that, we go right back to that well, and thinking that it's a better, it's going to be better this time.

Pastor Josh
00:33:49

My fleshly decision is going to be better.

Pastor Josh
00:33:51

Well, what we can see is that when we make mistakes, we have to learn from them spiritually, learn from them and grow.

Pastor Josh
00:33:57

That's wisdom.

Pastor Josh
00:33:57

Wisdom is applying the knowledge, right?

Pastor Josh
00:34:01

We can have knowledge of God, we can have knowledge of his Word, but knowledge is not wisdom.

Pastor Josh
00:34:06

Wisdom is the application of knowledge.

Pastor Josh
00:34:08

I've always used this as an analogy for you.

Pastor Josh
00:34:10

You guys will understand this.

Pastor Josh
00:34:13

I grew up in Florida.

Pastor Josh
00:34:14

We have a lot of like crazy wild animals there.

Pastor Josh
00:34:16

How many of you have been to Florida and you saw a sign that, oh, I know some of you have been there, but let me finish.

Pastor Josh
00:34:23

How many of you have been to Florida and then you saw a body of water and on the side of the body of water had like alligators, be careful, don't feed the alligators.

Pastor Josh
00:34:30

Don't get, you know, don't go into the right.

Pastor Josh
00:34:32

If you haven't seen that, they're all over.

Pastor Josh
00:34:34

Okay, now Knowledge is okay.

Pastor Josh
00:34:37

I know that there's alligators in this water.

Pastor Josh
00:34:40

I know I shouldn't go into the water.

Pastor Josh
00:34:42

I know I shouldn't at least have, like, food in my pocket and go into the water.

Pastor Josh
00:34:45

That would be knowledge, knowing.

Pastor Josh
00:34:47

You shouldn't do that.

Pastor Josh
00:34:48

Wisdom would be staying out of the water, not doing it right.

Pastor Josh
00:34:51

So there's some people that live in Florida that know that there are alligators in the water.

Pastor Josh
00:34:54

They know that they could attack them, but yet they go, yeah, you know what?

Pastor Josh
00:34:57

I'm still gonna go in.

Pastor Josh
00:34:58

Okay?

Pastor Josh
00:34:59

And that's why you see a lot of people that are attacked.

Pastor Josh
00:35:02

Alligators aren't usually gonna jump out of the water, come into your front porch, and attack you.

Pastor Josh
00:35:05

Okay?

Pastor Josh
00:35:05

That's not how it goes.

Pastor Josh
00:35:07

It's when you put yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Pastor Josh
00:35:09

Now, they're freak accidents.

Pastor Josh
00:35:10

We know that.

Pastor Josh
00:35:11

And there are people that don't know, you know, that you shouldn't walk a little dog right next to the water in the middle of the night.

Pastor Josh
00:35:16

That's a red flag.

Pastor Josh
00:35:17

Don't do that.

Pastor Josh
00:35:18

Right?

Pastor Josh
00:35:18

And so I say all that to say that there are some Christians who know intellectually that this is wrong.

Pastor Josh
00:35:25

I know that conflict is wrong.

Pastor Josh
00:35:27

I know that acting out of my flesh is wrong.

Pastor Josh
00:35:30

I know that fighting these people, and I know that standing on my point is wrong.

Pastor Josh
00:35:34

But.

Pastor Josh
00:35:35

And then there's all these justifications that come with it.

Pastor Josh
00:35:37

But you don't know what happened to me.

Pastor Josh
00:35:39

You don't know how that person wronged me.

Pastor Josh
00:35:40

And the truth is that I don't know.

Pastor Josh
00:35:42

But what I can say is that the application of that knowledge is the wisdom.

Pastor Josh
00:35:46

And God wants us to exercise our wisdom in our life.

Pastor Josh
00:35:49

And, you know, and I think that that's one of the challenges as a Christian is to live in God's wisdom and not our own wisdom.

Pastor Josh
00:35:56

And so we see at the end of Acts 15 that they went through Syria and Cilicia, confirming the churches.

Pastor Josh
00:36:02

And so Paul continues on with the work.

Pastor Josh
00:36:05

And so Paul is not a failure because that there was this division.

Pastor Josh
00:36:08

Silas is not a failure.

Pastor Josh
00:36:09

Barnabas is not a failure.

Pastor Josh
00:36:10

John, Mark is not a failure.

Pastor Josh
00:36:12

Silas was actually recognized as one of the leading men among the brethren in Acts 15.

Pastor Josh
00:36:16

He was a prophet.

Pastor Josh
00:36:17

He was someone who was used by the Lord in many ways in the ministry of Paul.

Pastor Josh
00:36:24

And so this was Paul's work to go on.

Pastor Josh
00:36:27

And he added to evangelism the strengthening of churches.

Pastor Josh
00:36:31

New Christians need strong churches to grow in and mature in.

Pastor Josh
00:36:34

And so what I would say is this what can we learn from this passage of scripture?

Pastor Josh
00:36:40

Well, we can learn how to deal with biblical conflict, and we can also learn how not to deal with biblical conflict.

Pastor Josh
00:36:47

We can also learn that the burden of the church should not just be evangelism, but also strengthening the folks that we've preached the gospel to before.

Pastor Josh
00:36:56

One of my heartbeats is like, we need to preach the gospel to people, but we need to help them grow.

Pastor Josh
00:37:05

I grew up in a situation in the way that my church was, that they were very, very strong in the gospel preaching message.

Pastor Josh
00:37:12

They were very, very strong in that there wasn't a service where the gospel wasn't preached and there wasn't a comfort invitation.

Pastor Josh
00:37:19

There wasn't a Saturday that we didn't go out.

Pastor Josh
00:37:21

Passing flyers out and going door to door and knocking.

Pastor Josh
00:37:24

And that was a good thing, not a bad thing.

Pastor Josh
00:37:26

I'm not saying those are bad things, but what I am saying is that there can be a.

Pastor Josh
00:37:30

I need to caution us to say that, hey, yes, we should preach the gospel, but we can't forget those people in the pew.

Pastor Josh
00:37:39

Let me say it this way.

Pastor Josh
00:37:42

There are people that are within churches in America.

Pastor Josh
00:37:44

I'm not going to say this one, but I am going to say there are people in churches in America that have been in churches for decades and they still have not understood certain things of scripture because it hasn't been explained to them.

Pastor Josh
00:37:53

And maybe they've even been misled because of certain things within the church.

Pastor Josh
00:37:57

I would say as a church, we need to be open, be a berean.

Pastor Josh
00:38:00

Right.

Pastor Josh
00:38:01

I always encourage people to say, let's study this together.

Pastor Josh
00:38:04

Let's look into this together.

Pastor Josh
00:38:06

If you have a question, hey, look into the Word and see what the Word has to say.

Pastor Josh
00:38:09

The moment that we start saying, don't look at that, you know what?

Pastor Josh
00:38:12

Just let's move on.

Pastor Josh
00:38:13

That's.

Pastor Josh
00:38:13

That's not the way that we should be preaching the message.

Pastor Josh
00:38:15

And so I would say that there is that understanding of grace and humility and meekness in our lives in conflict, but also in the church with spiritual growth.

Pastor Josh
00:38:24

And so are you going to disagree with people?

Pastor Josh
00:38:26

Sure.

Pastor Josh
00:38:29

Is there going to be a time where you might need to separate from someone?

Pastor Josh
00:38:32

Sure.

Pastor Josh
00:38:33

But what I would say is that's not the first step.

Pastor Josh
00:38:37

It's not the first step.

Pastor Josh
00:38:39

Go back to that.

Pastor Josh
00:38:39

Fight or flight.

Pastor Josh
00:38:40

That's what we see within churches today.

Pastor Josh
00:38:43

And I'm not here to say that every single person that has left the church is wrong.

Pastor Josh
00:38:47

Not saying that.

Pastor Josh
00:38:48

I actually think that there are biblical times for people to leave churches and go to other churches.

Pastor Josh
00:38:52

That's going to happen.

Pastor Josh
00:38:54

But what I am saying is that there is a biblical way to do those things, and there is an unbiblical way to do that.

Pastor Josh
00:39:00

And the unbiblical way is the fight or flight mechanism.

Pastor Josh
00:39:04

I'm either going to fight with the people in the church when they go against me, or I'm going to just leave.

Pastor Josh
00:39:08

What I would encourage you to do is think about that understanding of Galatians, Chapter six.

Pastor Josh
00:39:13

I would think about another passage of Scripture in Romans, chapter 12.

Pastor Josh
00:39:17

Let your love be without hypocrisy, the simulation.

Pastor Josh
00:39:21

I would think of another passage of Scripture in First Corinthians, chapter 13.

Pastor Josh
00:39:26

One of the things that we should do is love other people within the church.

Pastor Josh
00:39:30

I know that's like, what we say all the time, but that's biblically.

Pastor Josh
00:39:34

Biblically, it's the agape.

Pastor Josh
00:39:36

It's the love of sacrifice that should be seen in the church.

Pastor Josh
00:39:40

Now, what does that look like?

Pastor Josh
00:39:41

Some of us have heard First Corinthians 13 read at weddings, and certainly it applies to weddings, but it's more than just that.

Pastor Josh
00:39:50

First Corinthians 13 is about how we should love other Christians.

Pastor Josh
00:39:53

And one of the elements of love that's described in First Corinthians, chapter 13 is not to assume evil in other people.

Pastor Josh
00:40:01

Okay, here's where we get into trouble the most.

Pastor Josh
00:40:05

Let me just be honest with you.

Pastor Josh
00:40:07

It's when we come into a situation assuming the worst in a person.

Pastor Josh
00:40:11

Now, I've said this before.

Pastor Josh
00:40:13

Could that person be doing terrible things to you?

Pastor Josh
00:40:15

Possibly.

Pastor Josh
00:40:17

Possibly.

Pastor Josh
00:40:18

But when we think about that as our default mechanism because of what's happened to us before, what happens is that we then assume the worst in someone.

Pastor Josh
00:40:26

And even if they haven't done that, or even if they don't think that we assume the worst and we get to a place where we're not loving them.

Pastor Josh
00:40:32

Like, what if.

Pastor Josh
00:40:34

What if I go.

Pastor Josh
00:40:35

I always go back to my relationship with Alicia, and I know that some of you go, well, why you always talk about Alicia?

Pastor Josh
00:40:41

She's the only wife I've got, so I gotta talk about her.

Pastor Josh
00:40:45

Okay.

Pastor Josh
00:40:46

If every single situation in our marriage, I just said, oh, she hates me, she didn't cook what I wanted her to cook for me tonight.

Pastor Josh
00:40:55

How could we have a healthy relationship if I assume the worst in her every situation?

Pastor Josh
00:41:00

If I love her, I must assume the best.

Pastor Josh
00:41:03

She had a tough day.

Pastor Josh
00:41:05

Kids were loud.

Pastor Josh
00:41:06

The kids were yelling.

Pastor Josh
00:41:07

You know, maybe she didn't have time to make my meal that I wanted to make or maybe, maybe, you know what?

Pastor Josh
00:41:13

I didn't, you know, she came home and she wanted to talk to me.

Pastor Josh
00:41:15

And I said, I talk for a living.

Pastor Josh
00:41:17

I used to, when I used to teach school, I used to teach all day.

Pastor Josh
00:41:20

So from like 8am to 3pm and then I coached from 3pm to 6pm I talked all day.

Pastor Josh
00:41:26

And I like to talk.

Pastor Josh
00:41:27

But there was a point in my day that I was just done talking.

Pastor Josh
00:41:30

I was done talking.

Pastor Josh
00:41:31

I didn't want to talk at all.

Pastor Josh
00:41:32

I wanted to go home.

Pastor Josh
00:41:33

I wanted to get my bag of chips after dinner.

Pastor Josh
00:41:37

I wanted to turn my show on.

Pastor Josh
00:41:38

And I just want to sit and just say, I just want to veg out.

Pastor Josh
00:41:41

The truth is that she was home alone all day with a baby, home alone with kids, and she wanted to talk.

Pastor Josh
00:41:46

She wanted to have a human conversation, an adult human conversation.

Pastor Josh
00:41:50

And I'm going, well, she wants to bug me now.

Pastor Josh
00:41:54

You know what that is?

Pastor Josh
00:41:55

That's, that's, that's selfishness, right?

Pastor Josh
00:41:57

And sometimes as Christians, we assume the worst than somebody else because they're coming to us with, with genuine concerns.

Pastor Josh
00:42:03

I've done that as a pastor.

Pastor Josh
00:42:05

Someone's come up to me with a genuine concern about the church and I've been like, oh, God, I can't believe they're questioning my, my leadership.

Pastor Josh
00:42:14

And the truth is, is that they're not doing that.

Pastor Josh
00:42:16

They're coming up with legitimate question, or maybe they are questioning my leadership, but I shouldn't assume that in the first step.

Pastor Josh
00:42:21

And so that's how it goes when it comes to these conflicts.

Pastor Josh
00:42:24

Now, whether or not Paul assumed that, we don't know.

Pastor Josh
00:42:26

But we do know that there was that sharp contention that happened and that didn't need to be there.

Pastor Josh
00:42:32

And so I would encourage you to think about that.

Pastor Josh
00:42:33

Within the church, you're going to have conflicts.

Pastor Josh
00:42:35

You're not going to agree with everybody, but what do you do?

Pastor Josh
00:42:37

You deal with it with meekness, you deal with it with love.

Pastor Josh
00:42:39

You deal with that with patience.

Pastor Josh
00:42:41

You deal with that with bearing other people's burdens.

Pastor Josh
00:42:44

You know, it would be so much different in our churches today if we just said, you know what, that person's having a bad day.

Pastor Josh
00:42:49

I'm just going to overlook that.

Pastor Josh
00:42:51

You know, we can overlook things.

Pastor Josh
00:42:52

You don't.

Pastor Josh
00:42:53

Every, every single slight in the church does not have to end in church discipline.

Pastor Josh
00:42:59

Okay?

Pastor Josh
00:43:00

It's kind of the same thing.

Pastor Josh
00:43:01

Again with the marriage, right?

Pastor Josh
00:43:02

If you have, there's sometimes in marriage you just overlook it.

Pastor Josh
00:43:04

You don't have to have a sit down, come to Jesus moment.

Pastor Josh
00:43:06

Every single time you have a disagreement on something, right?

Pastor Josh
00:43:09

The same thing within the church.

Pastor Josh
00:43:10

There are gonna be times within the church that we say, hey, you know what?

Pastor Josh
00:43:11

I'm not even gonna let that bother me.

Pastor Josh
00:43:13

But there's gonna be times where you can't do that and there's times that you can't just let it go.

Pastor Josh
00:43:18

That's when we need to have this biblical confrontation, but a biblical loving confrontation.

Pastor Josh
00:43:23

And so that's the story of the dispute between Paul and Barnabas.

Pastor Josh
00:43:29

John Mark was at the core of it, but really it wasn't John Mark's fault.

Pastor Josh
00:43:34

We just know that he had left.

Pastor Josh
00:43:35

Now, again, there are going to be people that turn their back on you.

Pastor Josh
00:43:38

There's going to be people that leave.

Pastor Josh
00:43:39

There's going to be people that bail out in your ministry.

Pastor Josh
00:43:41

There's going to be people that don't show up to a Bible study.

Pastor Josh
00:43:44

There's going to be.

Pastor Josh
00:43:45

I remember there were times we were running a ministry in Florida and there would be times where Alicia and I would show up and no one would be there.

Pastor Josh
00:43:53

Do you know what we did?

Pastor Josh
00:43:55

We had a date and we had a Bible study together, right?

Pastor Josh
00:43:57

Because that was what it was.

Pastor Josh
00:43:58

And you know what?

Pastor Josh
00:43:59

We could have been mad.

Pastor Josh
00:44:00

Next time I came back, I could have said all you people told me you were going to be there and you didn't come.

Pastor Josh
00:44:05

And you know, but it was like, you know what it is what it is.

Pastor Josh
00:44:07

We're going to keep doing this.

Pastor Josh
00:44:08

We're going to keep doing this.

Pastor Josh
00:44:09

And Micah asked me a really interesting question.

Pastor Josh
00:44:11

Tonight we were coming here, it was like, it was like 5:30 and no one had showed up here yet.

Pastor Josh
00:44:16

And it was dark.

Pastor Josh
00:44:17

So in his mind he's like, church should have already started.

Pastor Josh
00:44:18

He's like, dad, what if nobody comes tonight?

Pastor Josh
00:44:20

Are we going to still have church?

Pastor Josh
00:44:22

I said, son, people are going to show up.

Pastor Josh
00:44:24

But even if they didn't, we would still have church.

Pastor Josh
00:44:25

He's like, how would we do it?

Pastor Josh
00:44:26

I said, well, I'd get up and I'd lead the music and you'd sing and then we'd have testimonies and I would preach you a message.

Pastor Josh
00:44:31

And he was like, we would really do that?

Pastor Josh
00:44:33

I said, we would really do that, right?

Pastor Josh
00:44:34

Because this is what we're doing.

Pastor Josh
00:44:35

We don't do it for people, we do it for the Lord.

Pastor Josh
00:44:38

It's a lot better when there are people here.

Pastor Josh
00:44:40

Like, I enjoy that you're here.

Pastor Josh
00:44:41

I remember back in Covid, I had to preach to this little camera right here.

Pastor Josh
00:44:45

And I'm trying to think, like, am I saying the right stuff?

Pastor Josh
00:44:47

Because it's a lot easier to talk with people in front of you because you can play off.

Pastor Josh
00:44:51

You can talk to people.

Pastor Josh
00:44:51

You can play off the energy when there's just a camera there.

Pastor Josh
00:44:54

It's like, man, I just don't know.

Pastor Josh
00:44:55

I don't know if this is going well.

Pastor Josh
00:44:57

And the truth is that there are times where we are tempted to quit because we don't see the result, right?

Pastor Josh
00:45:04

We don't see it coming to fruition.

Pastor Josh
00:45:06

But what I would say is just stay faithful.

Pastor Josh
00:45:08

Stay faithful in what God has for you.

Pastor Josh
00:45:10

And there's going to be people that say things against you.

Pastor Josh
00:45:12

There's going to be people that dispute against you.

Pastor Josh
00:45:14

But, you know, nonetheless, we have the opportunity to minister for the Lord, and so that's exciting.

Pastor Josh
00:45:18

So we're going to come back next week, Lord willing, and we're going to start Acts chapter 16, and we're going to have this guy come in and join Paul and Silas named Timothy.

Pastor Josh
00:45:29

We're gonna learn about this new guy named Timothy.

Pastor Josh
00:45:31

And Timothy's an awesome character.

Pastor Josh
00:45:33

Love Timothy.

Pastor Josh
00:45:34

Young man, got a really interesting background, and I hope that it will be a blessing for you as we come along here.

Pastor Josh
00:45:42

So, all right, let's go ahead and close in a word of prayer, and then after that, I'll have a few announcements and you'll be dismissed.

Pastor Josh
00:45:46

Lord, we thank you for this time.

Pastor Josh
00:45:47

We thank you for this opportunity to come here this evening to study your word.

Pastor Josh
00:45:51

Lord, we're thankful for the reminders of what it means to be meek and gentle and loving and forgiving and patient in the midst of disputes.

Pastor Josh
00:46:02

Lord, we thank you for the opportunity to know that you do give us hope.

Pastor Josh
00:46:07

Lord, help us in the midst of silly disputes, Lord.

Pastor Josh
00:46:11

Silly division.

Pastor Josh
00:46:12

Lord, help us to get over our personal issues and help us to see the importance of the doctrines, the truths, the essentials.

Pastor Josh
00:46:21

So, Lord, I pray that you keep us safe as we go our separate ways this evening.

Pastor Josh
00:46:23

We thank you for this wonderful church that you've given us.

Pastor Josh
00:46:25

We thank you for the opportunity to love you and to serve you here this week.

Pastor Josh
00:46:30

We thank you and we give it all to you.

Pastor Josh
00:46:33

We give all the glory to you.

Pastor Josh
00:46:34

In Jesus name we pray.

Pastor Josh
00:46:35

Amen.

Pastor Josh
00:46:36

Thank you again for listening to the Middletown Baptist Church podcast.

Pastor Josh
00:46:40

I hope that this sermon has been a blessing for you.

Pastor Josh
00:46:43

If you would like to find out more information about our church or this sermon, you can find us at middletownbaptistchurch.org or find us on Facebook or YouTube.

Pastor Josh
00:46:52

You can also email me directly at joshmissaroiddletownbaptistchurch dot com if you've enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and follow along for future podcasts and updates.

Pastor Josh
00:47:05

Thank you so much.

Pastor Josh
00:47:06

God Bless.

Pastor Josh
00:47:07

Have a wonderful day.